I am Patrick Perdue! I am bad for you!

Today, we have several stream archives available for you, the strange, bored person who likes that sort of thing.

PDAudio Realtime 2009.5

On Friday, November 27, 2009, P&D Audio Productions Realtime 2009.5 took place in the beautiful bedroom studio of one Derek Lane. Quite a number of bad, abnormal, and generally dumb things happened during the course of the stream, which, of course, is only to be expected at this point.
Here are just a few such examples:

• Autotune the blues, a prime example of why Derek and myself should never be given access to studio equipment


• slide whistles through autotune are fun.


• So are 1-a-cans with guitar slides.


• TBRN.AM, a good idea or not?


• Uncle Hanson's redneck poetry... enough said?


• Swedish disney songs... Sure, why not?


• How about a wire tape machine playing back a recording of an atomic bomb test?

All this and more can be found in this clickable link. I Think this may have been the shortest realtime stream to date, although this made it no less enjoyable for me.

PDAudio Cartime 2009.5

Adding to the shortest ever series, we bring you CarTime 2009.5, which only lasted 26 minutes due to being late, thanks to a few technical issues.
For those who don't know, CarTime is so named because the streams are done live from the car on the way back from Derek's place. Every one we've tried to do while taking Derek back from mine has completely and totally failed, and this one came close to not existing at all. Fortunately, it did manage to work, and was apparently more stable than any other stream we've done from the car, although it started later than we would have liked. Unfortunately, we couldn't take phone calls (again), but the messengers worked. Although the original stream was done at 24 kbps mono to improve the bandwidth to sound ratio, the archive is in stereo. So, even if you heard it live, you may have missed something interesting. Congratulations to you! Now you can hear just what you missed, and then say "Wow, was that really worth it?"

Things and Stuff for November 28, 2009?

Well... um... I haven't sent my board off to be fixed yet, though I plan on doing so this week. It's gotten even worse than the last time you all heard it in action. TO prove it, instead of a real show, have this fake one as I demonstrate why I didn't actually do a show this week. I think you'll understand, and I hope you'll forgive me. Hey, you can't say I didn't actually do a show, now can you?

What now?

Derek and myself are going to visit Randy Gilkey up there in West Virginia where it's all relative, so our respective shows won't be on for a couple of weeks. Naturally, we'll make up for it by doing strange, possibly random things while there. Of course, I encourage you to stay tuned to the website and TBRN's Twitter for all the latest news, and stuff. No, before you ask, I will not start a news show, and call it News and Stuff, amusing though the concept is to me, for a few seconds, anyway.

Proving that I'm still dedicated to the fine art of completely wasting time, this week's show is now consumable. It's probably not very tasty, but feel free to ingest it at your leisure... or something.

On this weeks highly enjoyable show:

• Although it's not terribly obvious unless pointed out specifically, my Phonic Helix Board fw24 MKII, the console I use to produce Things and Stuff, and many other fine? things, is having some power supply problems, and will most likely be shipped off to Florida for repair in a few days. Not happy about this, you know. It's the kind of problem I only know will get worse, so I'd better do something about it now.


• A fake section called "why I shouldn't own a studio" was introduced, including bad drumming, and a cover of a Beatles track I did while under the influence of a headache on Friday. Sorry about the nasty sound from the floor tom.


• We hear from the 1956 RCA MK II synthesizer, and explain very briefly how it worked, on the fundamental level.


• Mommy reports nothing at all, which is becoming more and more standard in these parts, now that all the loud fighting neighbors have moved away.


• We briefly discuss and demonstrate the G722 codec on a Snom 320 IP phone, and wish all phones could sound like that.


• Let's have fun with recordings made from my Icom tuner over the week, as well as an incredibly inefficient but amusing way to communicate with the show.


• Thanks to Kyle, a discussion of the Large Hadron Collider occured, including several possible theories as to why it didn't work originally, which leads to the world having never been destroyed, of course.


• Bored enough to count from 11:48 PM to 11:49 PM? I was, apparently.


• Random crap was added to the end of the archive to make it exactly two hours long.


• As per usual, other stuff happened that never quite made it to these pages when it actually came to writing these fake show notes.

And there you have it, people. Another week over, another show gone. Next week should, theoretically, play host to PDAudio Realtime 2009.5 from Derek's place on Friday, assuming it all works out. What it will do, I've no idea, but then again, things work best that way.

Have fun, and don't die.

After almost a month since it's initial airing (still a lot better than last year), the archive for P&D Audio Productions Realtime 2009 is now available to the public, all 5 hours and 36 minutes of it.

This was the tenth such show done by Derek and myself, since we started this dumb thing in 2002, and was originally broadcast on the night of May 30, 2009, incidentally freakyfwoof's 26th birthday.
The original plan was to use Fideliphone to patch Andre into the stream at random times, but, unfortunately, due to the lovely folks over at Time Warner Cable, this broke in a pretty bad way, resulting in several edits to cover up the general stupidity. Anyway, it was an excuse to include even more edits than were strictly necessary.

During the course of the stream, we demonstrated Pam, a prototype contact microphone design, which has, or rather, had a bit of a problem, before she experienced a total existence failure. Have you ever wondered how it would sound to use a guitar as a broadcast mic, or, perhaps, how things really sound while drinking water from the perspective of the bottle? Never fear, you'll find out here!
Pam meets Oscar, the carbon mic (I just named him about five seconds ago), and strange things are done as a result.

Some profundities are revealed during the course of the show, including, but not limited to

• Monty's "brother" name, as he directly opposes T-Pain, is OU-Pleasure, with a proper explanation


• Narf


• Water from Greensboro, whether bottled or from the tap, is apparently a bit trippy, resulting in the PDAudio band doing some very strange things with drums, simulated tape delays, and a keyboard


• food boxes apparently play an important role in the lives of some very disturbingly stupid people


• Radio Shack sucks (no, really?)


• Burp a bottle, and make your bottle woddle?


• The baby Borat chorus exists, and made itself known


• What, exactly, is a naff, and why do you not want one?


• one frequent caller is apparently a bit creapier than we initially gave him/her credit for

Naturally, there is the obligatory stuff that never gets mentioned in text, just to make it more interesting for you later.

Of course, now you're bored, curious, or both, and want to listen to this thing, don't you? Congratulations, you're in luck! You can now download a copy to call your very own. Have fun!

Some of you may have heard this by now, as I uploaded it late Saturday night, but there is no entry to go with it. So, here it is.

Since 2006, Derek and I have done a stream live from the car on the way back from his place, using my phone's unlimited (that's what they call it) edge connectivity, an HP laptop, and an audio device to stream at a relatively low bitrate to TBRN's Icecast server, just because it's something to do.

In 2006, it was a very last minute thing, and was done mostly as a joke, using a little Andria Electronics USB mic preamp, and a crappy little T-mic with two Panasonic WM-60 capsules on it. This had issues, but it worked. However, it was not archived, due to it's many problems.

The year after, we went all out, using my Zoom H4 as an audio interface, with two Behringer XM-8500 dynamic microphones. Using an overly complicated relay system, we streamed to another server at 16KBPS AAC+, including a fallback for when the stream died between towers, and were able to stream while taking messages from the back seat of Derek's parent's dodge caliber. It was a fun, stupid exercise in remote pointlessness.
Though the stream was sent out in mono to preserve bandwidth, the archive itself was in stereo, and I did some fun things in post-production to make it even more fun than it already was. Unfortunately, due to a large oversight on my part, a good portion of the middle of the stream went off into oblivion. Just for reference, here is the CarTime 2007 stream from November of last year.

This year, we streamed with no relay at 20 KBPS mono ogg, using the more updated Ziph encoders, which sound better at low bitrates than the Lancer encoders we used previously. Likewise, this archive is in stereo, unlike the actual stream.
we used the same H4 and one of the same Behringer XM-8500's from last year plus a new one, since I left one of them in Nashville.
I went even further out on a limb, and rigged up a fake phone patch solution, otherwise known as an old, beat-up Motorola V557 mobile phone with a prepayed AT&T sim chip, and Bluetooth audio via my laptop's Widdcom bluetooth stack. Ironically, messengers decided not to work this year, but we were successful at taking phone calls. Sure, it wasn't the most graceful setup in the world, but there's something fun about being on the road, and broadcasting to a remote server while taking phone calls, with the ability to relay them to said remote location.
Instead of archiving both microphones and phone in one file from the laptop, I only recorded the two microphones, including the Sony Wave Hammer compression we used in real time, and setup my PBX to record both channels of the phone call to separate wave files, and mixed it back in through post production, so there would not be any GSM artifacts unless someone called with a GSM phone. This was partially successful, but something went wrong and the levels were a little too hot on the PBX, so I had to do some limiting and compression to keep the really annoying clippy bits from overtaking everything.
Still, the end-result is better than it sounded on the stream, and that's all that matters.
The stream wasn't quite seemless, and some clicks and pops that occurred while things were being configured have been left in the archive for the sake of authenticity.

So, here is CarTime 2008, subtitled innovation in All the Wrong Places.


Yep, even more proof that I really

---

do need a life, a job, and some other related accessories. It doesn't help Derek's reputation either, but I engineered most of it, so it's even worse for me. Oh well.
Back to your life, since I don't have one to speak of.

Yep, it's that time of year again, the time when you can be a bad, greedy person, and get away with it. Whether it's food, presents, or other things, this is the time to have it.

This Christmas was particularly fun. I, the greedy Borris, got many neat things, including

• a drum practice pad for quietly practicing anywhere


• some magnets that make fun noises


• a set of Zenergy chimes from Tommy (three dinging bars on a wooden slab)


• a bunch of guitar picks of various sizes and styles


• a pair of drumsticks


• a washburn 15-watt guitar practice amp with spring! reverb!! Gotta love the spring!!!


• a very badly needed office chair


• and a Sabian B8 cymbal pack, which includes an 18-inch crash-ride, a 10-inch splash, and a set of 14-inch high hats.

I am not understating when I say these cymbals have completely transformed my kit from something that sounded not bad and rather respectable, to Wow, inexpensive kits aren't supposed to do that!
Unfortunately, I haven't played with the amp yet, since the soul working electric guitar in the house, which isn't even mine, has no strings on it. Yep, gonna have to get myself some more springs... I mean, strings.
Mom showed off her new flat panel TV, which I wrote about yesterday, and everyone seems to like it. Yay for me... Oh, and Ryan, since he helped me pay for it.

After hanging out with Ryan and Rainee for a while, we went to my Grandma's place for food and drink, and I ended up spending most of that time talking to my Uncle Keith, who is also blind, and now uses a cochlear implant. I'm still getting used to holding a normal conversation with him after all this time of not being able to do so.

As per tradition, and simply because it was something to do, Christmas proceedings were recorded using my best portable setup (the Zoom h4 and a pair of Cad M179's on a Jecklin disk, which is way overkill for this sort of thing). However, something broke really hard...
I was in a bit of a rush to get ready to go to my grandma's place, and I put a spare SD card in the h4 without first backing up the contents of the other card to a convenient PC, due to time constraints. Not having time to run into the house to put my other SD card away, I put it in my pocket, and successfully ended up losing it somewhere between the driveway and my Grandma's house. Hopefully, it's where I think it is, and should be recoverable. If not, then, well, there goes a 4GB SD card with some very amusing and irreplaceable content on it. Ooops!
I'm not too worried about the card itself. It's only a 4GB SD, and they're about as cheap as tapes these days. I have more of them. I'd like to get it back for the content, though.

Tomorrow, to completely break all traditions and other things, I will be spending time at dgl1984's place, from where we may or may not stream PDAudio Realtime 2008.5. Nope, we don't even know ourselves if we will bother doing so. How's that for PR?
There will, however, most likely be a CarTime 2008.5, including phone calls this time, since I have the resources to make that work. Yeah, I'm a very bored geeky bad person, and I'm not ashamed to admit it!
Stay tuned to various TBRN resources for times... or not... of the up-coming streams from us, if they decide to go off and exist.

As for now, I'm a sleepy boy, and it's almost time for Borris the Christmas Porpoise to die for yet another year. Did you take advantage of your friendly porpoise while he was around? No? Oh well, you'll have to wait for another 341 days. Suck for you!

Borris sings through autotune. Johnny Cash sings in german. Derek was the single caller to the show. Tracks were played. I accidentally initialized my Yamaha Motif XS6 on the air while going through stupid noises on the wave rom, and lost some sequences that I didn't back up. Old phone things were discussed. Other things happened as well. Go get it if you dare... or not.

Sorry, no PDAudio Realtime 2008.5. Had it happened, it would have occured on Friday, but it didn't. Perhaps it will be rescheduled for later this year, or maybe things won't work out until 2009, which breaks the entire scheme. Oh well

Yep, another PDAudio Realtime has come and gone. We've been doing these streamy things since July of 2002, and, while some things change, most things... well... didn't, much.

The stream is the longest PDAudio Realtime to date (a bit over 6.5 hours), and will be posted at some point, this time by Derek, as he'll be doing all the editing on this one... How ya doing? I'll let him, too, as, while it contained lots of really interesting things, as well as another appearance from Mommy, the PDAudio band, it also needs some work done to it, mainly due to the fact that my new DBX Project One compressor, purchased from Music Go Round on Friday, decided to die just before the show, and no longer provide compression, though the gate still works. This is quite annoying, as the DBX, for the one day it worked, when it worked, sounded vastly better than my Phonic PCL-3200 compressor, which is, like my Phonic board, dying, and quite litterally making lots of noise about it.

. However, all the technical details aside, it was incredibly amusing (in parts). If you missed it, stay tuned to this, as well as the blog of dgl1984 for a link coming to a thingy near you.
The archive will even include some un-aired material, so even if you heard the stream live, it will be fun for you... Well, maybe.

I know you've waited at least 19 minutes for it, and it's finally here! That's right, the archive for RealTime 2007.5 is now available! It's four hours of fun, including bad Swedish Christmas songs, bathroom fun, talk of toilets, and Derek and I being generally strange. This is not, by it's very design, an apt description of the show, so you'll have to download it for yourself and have a listen. See?

I bought Derek a pair of Cad M177 microphones, which are basically the singla diaphragm cardioid version of the Cad Equitek E300's, and are very similar to the M179's I have, in everything but the ability to change pickup patterns.
I got these as an early Christmas thingy, because I was generally getting annoyed at his GXL-2400's. Don't get me wrong -- they're quite nice microphones, but his voice through them, the way his system is set up, and some other things really started grating on me. A few months ago, I pointed this out to him, so he said, jokingly, "if you're annoyed about it, then buy me something better!" So, I did.
These particular mics were, of course, used on the stream, and I personally thought the sound was quite nice. The stereo image didn't have quite as much of a hole in the middle as it does when using two GXL-2400's, at any rate. This may be due to the fact that the M177's are a bit more spherical, so the reflection from the back side of the capsules wasn't quite as bad as that of the back side pickup of the wedge-shaped GXL's.
I really don't know, and thus, I'm only throwing conjectures around at this point.
Plus, the bass rolloff on these mics is quite a bit nicer than that of the gxl-2200 or 2400 (which essentially sound the same), and they are less susceptible to the popular popping p problem that is so predominant, and is sometimes proudly displayed to the populous.

OK, now to something more interesting than talk of microphones:
We also have the archive for Car Time 2007 which, naturally, was streamed live from the car as we were on our way back to Statesville, from whence I would then go home. We did this last year as well, but, thanks to better equipment, and the fact that I have way too much time on my hands, and put far too much effort into making it work, it went down a bit better this time around.
This was accomplished using two Behringer XM-8500 dynamic microphones hooked up to my Zoom H4, which was used as a sound interface to the laptop. My cell phone, which currently has an unlimited packet data connection (subject to change as I don't use it all that much), was bluetoothed to the laptop to provide the internet connection.
Through some transcoding, relaying, and a lot of convoluted strange things, we managed to stream pretty solidly, as well as taking messages, all while driving east bound on I40 at 70 MPH. Although the stream was originally done in mono for the sake of quality on such little bandwidth, the archive is in stereo, and with an interesting image that contracts, expands, and moves around a bit, as mics were focused and changed to provide close-up perspectives of things. Unfortunately, due to a huge over sight on my part, some of the best bits of the archive are missing, so almost an hour suddenly becomes 29 minutes and 43 seconds. However, I figured there were enough interesting/amusing bits in this archive to keep it around. So here it is for your general amusement.

I did my usual "Things and Stuff" after returning from Derek's place, but, for the sake of simplicity, and so as not to fill these virtual pages with all it's issues, let's pretend I didn't, and leave it at that.
Perhaps some of the more interesting bits will end up in the stupid folder one day where they belong, but the show as a whole isn't even worth subjecting you to. And, if you were one of those unlucky people who heard it live last night, I apologize profusely. I promise never not to do that again, or something.

Having said all that, I hope those of you who celibrated Thanks Giving around this time had a particularly good one. I did! Weeee! I'm going away now, in case you couldn't figure that out or anything.
73's, and may the whale be with you?

This is most of the archive for P&D Audio Productions Realtime 2007, except for the last hour, which, due to stupidity on my part, as well as other things, died. Fortunately, not much happened during the last hour worth keeping around, or that couldn't be re-created easily enough, so it's not a huge loss or anything.

The first bit of it was... well... Losing control isn't fun. If you want a really large laugh, go about 134 minutes into the file to see what happens when two bored people equiped with slide whistles and beverage bottles can do when provoked. Many other random things occurred, but as the last few entries where a show has been linked has, for the most part, said just that, don't take my word for it! Really, that's about all I can think to say about anything at the moment, as I'm feeling down-right anti-creative.

As I said in my last entry, Realtime 2007, both on and off-air, was fun. I gave Derek my fanless power supply in hopes that this will make his system a bit less noisy than before, and bought a cheap Coolermaster power supply for my production box from Comp USA last Thursday, along with a heatsink that ended up breaking the processor on the newly created, but currently non-functional Raybondo, which will soon be running a PBX and FX Radio.

Also, on the show, and, unfortunately during the last hour that broke, we found that popping big bubble packs under water, particularly in sinks and toilet tanks, yields interesting results. Perhaps further studies need to be under-taken regarding this... or, maybe not. Stay tuned for more info which may or may not exist at some point in the future.

For now, however, I shall give you all a resounding virtual click, and attend to matters best left unattended.